This week in the world of posts that have gone viral we see a pastor who wrote the post I’m Dating Someone Even Though I’m Married. Please read it all the way through before you judge. If you don’t want to take the time here’s the point of the post; The woman he is dating is his wife and their marriage is strengthened by their commitment to continue dating. Awesome. Fantastic. So why does the whole thing feel weird to me? I am in full support of dating your spouse. More marriages can benefit greatly from a commitment to dating each other beyond the courting phase of the relationship. (Tangent: It gets really hard to keep dating with young kids in the home, but we keep trying even if it is only turning off the TV to play cards or watching movie together at home). So why am I feeling conflicted about this post.
Is it the “switcheroo” tactic that was used? I don’t think so as I love a story with a good twist at the end that no one saw coming. After I spent some more time thinking about it I realized that I don’t like it when people, especially people in the Church, emphasize a negative to “win you over” to the positive. I have never been a fan of those who seek to “Scare the Hell out of you” so that you can see your need for Jesus. People get scared, they give their hearts/lives to Jesus, and then some stay while others drift away. Why? Their emotions and adrenaline were messed with and in the heat of the moment they chose an escape route. Once the feeling of danger subsided and the challenge of loving God and loving others was brought before them they did not have the tools to deal with it. They needed another fear hit to keep them going. Plus, we live in such a fantasy obsessed culture that I wonder how any people got lost in the make believe affair that he put forth in the post.
Dabbling in darkness, whether it is the stuff that scares us or an adulterous lifestyle, masks the beautifully honest approach of the Gospel. There is a God. We are separated from God and each other. The only thing to repair that is not our attempts to be pious or good it is a savior. We were given that savior in Jesus. We are now free to love God and one another. That is beautiful and it does not need tricks or bait and switch to shine.
Rev. Shawn J. Smith 