Prove me, O Lord, and try me;
Test my heart and mind.
For Your steadfast love is before my eyes,
And I walk in faithfulness to you.
Psalm 26:2-3 NRSV
At the core of all that we are is a desire to know and be known. We want to be able to trust. We seek to experience love, acceptance, and ultimately peace. These are not available for download; they can’t be shipped to your door, and they do not the hide within the acquisition of a title or rank. These longings, these common human desires cannot be faked, fabricated, or synthetically produced for consumption. Unfortunately, even though we know this is true it does not stop us from devoting countless hours of our lives to pursuing that which can never fill what we don’t have a name for or really know how to classify. We just know that longing exists deep within us.
The truth is that the closest thing that comes to supplying relief for the longing is building relationships with people. However, that requires that we risk ourselves by opening our hearts to someone else. What happens? When it’s good it is beyond compare, but when it’s not it can become a living nightmare. Why is it this way? Why do our bodies crave that which no other person can give to us? Please, don’t misunderstand me. There are tremendous friendships, amazing relationships, and beautiful marriages. Yet in each of these exists two people and one will inevitably not fulfill all the needs of the other. No person on the planet can fulfill another person’s every desire.
This is what King David knew in his heart and we can hear it in the Psalms that he wrote. From what we know about David he was very passionate about God. He held to this notion that God was his protector, his sovereign, his redeemer, his Lord, and worthy of his desire. How else can you explain someone who writes; Test my heart and mind. Only someone so completely lost in God would ask God to examine his thoughts and the passions of his heart. How does someone get that kind of understanding…no, it is more than that…that kind of relationship with God.
The secret to David’s devotion to God is in the line; For your steadfast love is before my eyes. Other translations say your unfailing love. Now we begin to see the foundation of David’s relationship with God. It was God’ love for David, a kind of love that doesn’t make sense, forgives when anger and hate are warranted, offering another chance when only pain will follow, and able to bring that fallen person into being something more than they dreamed of, which is a person with a new beginning. David knew that God saw everything that he did and who he really was at all times. God knew David and still loved him. That drove David to then say with a grateful heart test my mind and heart, show me how better to express my love for you God.
The truth is God loves you as much as he loved David. The sooner you come to terms with that the sooner you can begin the journey that is a relationship with God.